#SSS - 8th Feb

I've had a brilliant week!!!
As if by magic, everything is starting to fall into place. My operation, to remove the current shoulder boobs and reconstruct the burnt side of my face, has finally been booked!!!
It feels like I've been waiting for this day to come for years! It has been an uncomfortable and slightly painful couple of months.

Things are finally on the move now. I will soon be driving again, with my face back to normal, working again, visiting friends. Things are really on the way back to normal for me.  YAY!!!!

I'm also looking for a nice new leg! The one I've got now is ok, it does the job. But I want more than just a leg I can walk with! I want one I can dance with! I want one that I can wear out in high heels and shake my butt in.
Also, I want one that looks like a leg. Of course I have the cool Alleles cover on this leg and I will proudly get it out in the summer when I want to show it off. But I also want one that looks just like a normal leg. One that is comfortable and unnoticeable, so I can wear it out in the summer with a nice skirt on and not have people giving me unwanted attention. This cool one from I.S.S in France looks really nice and comfortable! Click here  to see the various video clips of people wearing this prosthetic.

I.S.S - a leg that I think is just brilliant and I really want one! It would be lovely to fly over to France to see my Aunty Eve, Gerome and little Jack too! I'm planning on making a little holiday out of it! Obviously when my surgery is finished with. Hopefully that will be soon enough.

So, I've had a page in this magazine, sharing my story and my positivity. It's nice to share how you're dealing with something as serious as an amputation and facial disfigurement. If anyone had told me this would happen to me a few years ago, I wouldn't think I could deal with it as well as I have done. I'm not brave and courage for it though, I've just had such good support from my friends and family, that I have no reason to moan about it.
What could I moan about? I'm not missing out on anything, I have the same life as I did before my accident, just not as stressful and careless.

I'm very grateful to be sharing my story and having young girls read it and be inspired. It might help someone out there feeling sorry for themselves for having an ugly spot on the end of their nose, just as I would have done pre crash! ;)

The true meaning of "beautiful" is something most people in the world will never know nor understand.
As the amazing Katie Piper said
“Don't wait until there is tragedy in your life. Don't wait until you lose somebody. Don't wait until it's too late. Appreciate the beautiful people that you have in your life now.” 

#SSS - Sunday Smile Sermon 25th Jan

Hello!

I've had a great couple of weeks since my last post. 2015 is just getting more and more exciting!!!

I'm not sure if you saw my post yesterday? The youtube clip about an amazing organisation I have found called Why Not People. The are a group of people who are drilling for society to change the way in which people with a disability are treated. They will be holding events, which will enable people with disabilities to enjoy a show, gig, festival, with their friends, without being plonked into a little safe space for wheelchairs etc. It is a great idea!

I do feel a little nervous in crowded spaces, with my prosthetic leg. I haven't quite conquered my balance with it yet so being in a big crowd of people at a gig, will be a little nerve racking!
But that was my life before the crash! I was always going to gigs and festivals at every opportunity I possibly could! The idea of missing out in all of that was very upsetting! The fact that Why Not People will be holding an event for people to enjoy a gig together is just brilliant! It's amazing that this sort of thing hadn't yet existed really, I'm glad it does now though!

 If you didn't see my post yesterday, here it is again :)





Why Not People - I'm now a member of this new cool organisation!
If you'd like to check them out, you can see a video clip on their page here where you can become a member or request various cool things with a donation, like a shout out on stage and things! Have a look and get donating. Also, their website is here.

If you are disabled or you know someone who are, please share this page with them. They can become a member, get involved with gigs and things, it's a really cool organistion that is founded by the super cool radio1 presenter Jameela Jamil.  

Check them out and become a member. It's a really cool organisation and it's prospects really excite me!! I hope it does for you too,  click & join here!

Last week I went to the QE to see what the next moves were for my ongoing surgery. Yet again, it's a time that requires patience. Oh dear. Hmm, good luck with that one Kelly!

They did however explain to me that the face nerve has 5 branches to it, only 2 of them are currently in my face. I could work on these two and get them growing and developing into another 3 to make up the 5 or I could ask them to take another nerve out and put that in. I will just have to wait until the rest of my operations are finished with. It's going to be a long haul, but it will all be worth it in the end!

In the mean time, I will be doing these little exercises. I found them on Youtube by a lady in America who suffered Bell's Palsy, I know it's not the same, but it's worth the shot anyway. So I will be doing these daily exercises to try and get this smile of mine back!

 Also, I am now a nutribullet owner! It came with a book of lots of different cool smoothies and soups to make! I'll be stocking up on things to blast in no time! Hopefully, this will make me more alert, fresh and vibrant. It's got to be good for me and my year of planning for a more active and healthy lifestyle. I'm going to have to start blasting daily if I want to climb snowdon and cycle Cuba with LimbPower this year!

That's all for now anyway, I'm going to get myself out for a walk today! I need to start building up my strength for all of my plans for this year!

Until next time, peace.

Why Not People

#SSS Sunday Smile Sermon 2015!!!!

Happy New year everyone!!!! A bit late I know, but my first blog post of 2015! It's crazy really, so different to my first sermon of 2014! My first blog post back in February 2014 was really pushing for my nerve to work so that I could smile again! I wanted the nerve to start working more than anything!

I hated not being able to control my smile, it was more upsetting then loosing my leg. Seriously!

So, my new nerve, replacing the burnt one in my face, was taken from the back of my leg,  was given a 1% chance of working. I thought I was going to have a lop sided smile for the rest of my life!

Here is a pic of my smile back in February 2014.

It has definitley improved slightly since then. It has a far way to go though, but at least it is on its way back.  

And here is a picture of my smile from a few weeks ago, an even smile which I am very please and relieved about. I'm hoping this will improve more and more each year! I'm going to ask for them to take a nerve from somewhere else, I don't mind where they dig at me next as long as it helps get my smile back.  

So fingers crossed, this time next year, the comparison will be amazing!!! I'll have my dimples back in no time! That would be amazing, to have full control over the left side of my face again, fingers crossed!!! 

My beautiful baby cousin Urban, was 6 on the 1st January! Happy Birthday to that little beauty, Urban! 

My New Years Resolutions are; 

1. Get driving again
2. Get a job - paid 
3. Overcome ongoing surgery 
4. Get my book finished & published
5. Get a running leg 
6. Go for lots of runs - Marathon maybe? (hmmm 26 miles, good luck with that one!)

These are all fairly achievable, I have them as plans for the year and hopefully they will all be achieved!! It will be good to look back at this post next year to see how well I've done! You've all seen them, now I must do them !!!  I've got another driving assessment tomorrow actually, so hopefully number 1. will be achieved soon! I can NOT wait to be back behind a wheel again. Be able to get    from one place to another on my own.

Number 2, is also more likely to be achievable once I'm driving again. I'm currently doing voluntary work for a charity, Black Country Neurological Alliance. Which is great as it can all be done from home and isn't stressfully time consuming, as it is a voluntary role. I do miss getting a wage in though. I will need to be earning my own money to pay for all the petrol I'll need from driving around! 

Both 1 and 2 need to wait for the number 3 to be finished with too. I can't wait for the injection and surgeries and all of it to just stop! It seems never ending for me. Im not complaining, I was gagging for it all to start for so long, I am glad to be going through this as it is all for a good ending. I just can not wait for the ending to come!

Number 4, this little book of mine….it would be very cool for it to be finished and published on May 19th, my 2 year "ampuversary".

Number 5 and 6 - It would be SO COOL to get a running leg. The blade!!! I have spoken to a few people about this and I'm hoping that this resolution will be sorted. By the end of the year I will have ran around like a headless chicken on a blade. I will be running and raising money for the charities that have helped get the blade.for me.  It will be a really satisfying achievement and I'm really looking forward to it. 

I'm going to start building my fitness up now, I am a little stumped at the minute as to what I can do. Like even going for a long walk, I'm just too nervous at the moment with my pouches. Falling and hurting them might slow my progress down and I can't let that happen. I have however, bought a weighted hula hoop, that is fine to do in the meantime! In my warm room with soft things around me if I do fall! As well as a the weighted hula hoop, I purchased a pedometer, so as soon as my pouches are out I will be going out and measuring my walks & calories! I'll be a slim little thing by the summer! 

I'm hoping to get involved in a few events this year too, like LimbPower are going to be doing a some cool events this year, you can see them all on their website here http://www.limbpower.com/events/ 

I really want to do the Cycle Cuba! I would LOVE to go to South America anyway, it was definitely on my list of places to see!!!! Although, I had initially hoped to go and eat the gorgeous food and smoke their cigars, while in Cuba, it's a must really! A cuban cigar, a bottle of Cuban wine and live music! 

Wow…. but it's not going to be like that. It will be fun to cycle through Cuba with my LimbPower friends though, I think as a reward for it, we should all have a cigar waiting for us at the end of the cycle! 

This cycle in Cuba is up on the website for October this year, the date is yet to be confirmed. There is also, with LimbPower a talk of a Snowdon Walking Challenge. I saw this posted by Kiera today on Twitter. I'm up for that one too! It will be good to do this walk in the summer some time, boost up the energy for the cycle in Cuba to follow, which I think is in October? Well the Cycle Cuba one is down for October on the LimbPower website, the date needs to be confirmed anyway so that may well change .

Anyway, enough of my pipe dream plans with no solidarity, due to unconfirmed dates and unconfirmed health. I'm glad to have these things in my diary for 2015 as I do really want to do them. I want to have a great year full of achievements and accomplishments! I'm sure it will be a great year for me. 

A little poem I found & love...

I asked for wisdom & God gave me problems to solve,
I asked for courage & God gave me brawn and brains to work,
I asked for patience & God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait,
I asked for love, & God gave me troubled people to help,
I asked for favours and God gave me opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted,
I received everything I needed.

Until next week, peace x

Smile Sermon - 2014 Sign off!

So I haven't done a post in a few weeks, I've been very up and down with various things going on. The inflation of my pouches always leaves me feeling a bit loamy for a couple of days. It bloody hurts man! 

It's not a walk in the park at all. It's not like I expected it to be, but I guess I just didn't expect it to be so irritating and painful! It's a bloody annoying pain though. It's not like an 'ouch'  pain it's a continuous dull ache. That just annoys me so much!

I wish I could just hibernate while this stuff went on with me just floating around in my dreams and then waking up a few months later with all the surgery done and sorted! It will be amazing when it's all finished with! I'm sure it will all be well worth the dull ache in a couple of months. I just feel so impatient with it all going on. 

I've been through a lot of crap in my life, more so in the last year and a half following my car accident. But this patch, this situation with the tissue expanders and the ongoing inflations and surgeries. This patch is by far the worst part!!!

At least while I was in the QE I was dosed up and forgetful! I had friends and family around me all the time and lots of relaxation. THIS, this is just horrible!  I'm seriously going through the hardest few months of my life! I know this is a blog of smiles, a place where I come on each week or whatsoever and share with you readers the things that have made me smile each week. This week, I'm seeking lots of comfort and sympathy! haha 

No, seriously. I've had an amazing Christmas. With SO many amazing presents! Lovely cards and lots of lovely food and drinks. I am very lucky! I do feel very lucky, very lucky to have everything I need and want at the minute in my life. There isn't much more I do want right now other than to fast forward this sore patch. This uncomfortable and sore patch of my life! I would love to just hibernate for the next couple of months!!! 
 
2015 will be a great year for me though! I will be feeling much more back to normal once the surgery is finished with. I'll be looking better, walking better, feeling better and driving better!  It will definitely be a good year for me. Things can only get better really, so when you hit that point, you can only be filled with hope, excitement, impatience and frustration! A mix of emotions! This is definitely the toughest part of things I've dealt with, but I'm a tough little solider and can get through anything. 
I've proven that to myself already! I can and I will get through this and be so happy and relieved once it's finally complete!
 It can't be rushed though. Slow and steady wins the race, as always!  You all know the tortoise and the hare story, I've always, ALWAYS been the hare! I liked being the hare, it was way more fun! But look what happened! The hare lost a bloody leg! haha 


Well, you've all probably seen the various posts on Facebook, the flip of events, statuses etc. I've got a really cool present from my Dad and Anna. I recieved a gorgeous Alleles cover from Canada! A company in Canada that produce beautiful covers to clip onto a prosthetic. Here are a few pics of the cool cover that is now attached to me!  They even sent me a cool pair of earrings to accompany this cool prosthetic cover! Unfortunatley I can only wear one of the earing at the moment, but I will soon have a reconstructed ear lope and I'll be wearing them both proudly! :) Very kind and sweet of them.

So, I've attached the cover to my leg, after ripping off the previous yellow foam that covered it! The foam was good for mimicking the shape of my leg, it made it look like a normal leg when I wore leggings or tights. Now I've got the cover on, you can really see that I'm wearing a prosthetic. Which is fine, I'm not shamed of it at all, it's a survival mark! I'm proud of my leg. But I do want my leggings to look neat and tidy!

I've currently got one normal knee and one spiky metal one, which is very apparent when wearing leggings. I think once I get my new suction socket leg, I'll keep one with foam on and one with this cool cover on. Then I can have it looking smooth in the winter with tights on and then looking cool in the summer when I've got a skirt on and showing off my cool prosthetic cover! Best of both worlds!



I think the boring white socket could do with a bit of art work! I might as well get it painted or something! If I'm going to be wearing this out on show in a mini skirt in the summer, I might as well go all the way! 

I think my next leg will have to be a amazing spike leg like Viktoria Modesta's one here. Now this is a very cool leg!!! It obviously would be a bloody nightmare to walk in, especially with a couple of vodkas down you, but my God it looks cool! Imagine wearing this on a night out! 

I'm actually excited about all the various leg out there now! There are so many cool ones! I will have a wardrobe full of legs in no time! Some of them are very expensive though! Like a running blade, that can be very pricey! But I want one of them too! I have spoken to the lovely Helen, a friend I made from the LimbPower event last year, you can get sponsorships and things. So I think next year I will definitely get myself a running blade and then pay everyone back with sponsors from my runs! :)  

That's my plan! 

Right, I wont be posting now until 2015! :) 

So I want to say big HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!!! 

Thank you to all my readers for your support and friendship throughout my first year as a blogger. 2014 started off good, it's ending off great, and 2015 will start AMAZING!! 

 

Sunday Smile Sermon #SSS

It's Christmas time in the Durkin's household! My aunty Tee, little cousins Urban and Xavier are over from Gibraltar. Unfortunately Uncle David couldn't make it over! The Quach's are heading to Australia for Christmas this year, to spend it with Uncle David's mom and dad and to see the rest of the Quach family over there. It will be lovely for them all to meet up and see the new little Quach boy Xavier! I'm sure Urban will love catching up with all of her cousins over there too. They must miss each other massively! I'll be spending Christmas with my sister Alex this year! YAY :)

So, I'm all over the place at the minute, emotionally. It's mental. I think I'm just so happy to have my aunty Tee over and that's stirred up a few feelings. I'm a little tender anyway with my shoulder pouches in! I had the two of them injected with 60ml of water this week. She did 40ml the first time, this time I was like, go for it, put some more in, it's fine and it doesn't hurt. So they did. Stupid me! It isn't really painful at all, it's just a very irritating dull ache. It's hard to keep your eyes on the prize when you are all tender and sensitive.

2015 is going to be amazing for me though! I will be having the final surgery to sort my burn scars out, I will have a new leg. A good one with a cool Alleles cover. I will be driving again! Which I really can not wait for!!! Things will be almost back to normal. I am very much looking forward to all of this, I just feel rather impatient from time to time. It's normally around the same time each month, so I'm probably just hormonal and emotional. I got all teary yesterday! Tee was getting dolled up for a night out with her mates, which was lovely for her to catch up with everyone while she was here. I just really wanted to go out with her, I wouldn't/couldn't with my pouches in, I'm very nervous about hurting them. I know I'll be back to the stage where I can whip a bit of lippy on and go out for a dance. I just can't at the minute and I was overwhelmed by the disappointment. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE BETTER!!!! I wish I could just fast forward this part of my life, the impatience is killing me! I've never been a patient person. I don't think I ever will be. I HATE waiting! It's amplified even more so now with everything else going on. Like waiting for Christmas, that is made more manageable with an amazing advent calendar that my darling Lauren Cullen bought for me. Ciate - Mini mni manor nail polish advent calendar.  It'a given me some lovely little pieces so far, I'm excited to see them all! Thank you so much for that Lauren, you absolute darling!

Today I went to visit baby Mikey, Mikey Joseph Hogan! He's such a handsome little man! Katie and Michael don't half make good looking children! Both Florence and Mikey are going to break some hearts when they're older. It was lovely seeing the 3 O'riordan sisters! Katie, Alice and Fiona. I love you three so much, having a little catch up with you was great. I'm hoping for them to be even more frequent once I'm driving again.

I don't have an awful lot to talk to you about really. I'm still waiting for my new leg, I'm hoping to get it before Christmas, so I can get it covered by my Alleles cover! As soon as I do I'll be whipping it out and showing it off on here and everywhere else! I think I'll be cutting all of my legging on the right side, so that they can show the cover off all the time! All year round. Oooooo I can't wait for it! As you can probably guess from my continuous enthusiasm in my blog posts!

I'm off now anyway, XFactor is on, I can't miss that!

Peace x

The Alleles - McCauley

I saw a lovely post on Facebook, on the page for the Alleles. The company that makes the cool leg covers. I thought I would share it with my blog followers. 

"Hey friends! This is McCauley here...designer and co-founder of the Alleles. I just wanted to share a bit of my soul with you all about how strongly I feel about the importance of fashion and the impact it has on people's self image....It may be obvious, but I am obsessed with fashion!

This company came about because I was so peeved and sick and tired of hearing people talk negatively about fashion and how it is so 'frivilous', 'meaningless', 'consumerist', 'impractical', and blah blah blah... If you are one of those people, look around the room you are sitting in and look at what everyone is wearing...are you wearing the same thing? no? why?... my point is exactly that. Whether or not you think you don't care about fashion, you wear clothes that you like for some reason. These 'clothes' then become an expression of who you are and how you see yourself as an individual. You hear people say things like, 'I could never pull that off!'... if it is 'just' an article of clothing that is meaningless then who cares?? But it's not, it is much much more than that.

Our entire point of existence is to give choice to people so they can express themselves...to show the world that despite of missing a limb, there is a still person who has more to talk about then 'just what happened to them'....there is a person who has interests, who has flare, who likes music, who loves motorcycling, running, art, their family, etc. We hear stories from our clients all the time of how their cover has transformed the way they see themselves and how complete strangers interact with them differently now that they are wearing a funky cover. This is quite humbling for us little designers that a chunk of plastic that we made to fit on ones prosthesis has that much power and can shed a bit of positivity and remove stigma that is more often than not 'hush hush' and 'pitiful'... no one wants to feel like that.

I attached this photo of myself and Nadine at the last photoshoot we did. It may be a bit 'too much' for people to wear this look out on the streets...but it does show the potential, the fun, the beauty and energy that can exist in a complete head-to-toe look! These dresses were designed by moi and Nadine's covers were influenced by the floral of the fabric. Thinking about the socks, the stockings, the shoes, the hem length, and the color combinations really does take weeks to figure out and to bring together so when people get excited about the images we share our hearts flutter a bit. Makes us think we are doing something right!! Details matter, style matters, beauty matters and being timely matters.

Thanks for being such a force of life during this photoshoot Nadine xo

And thank-you everyone else for listening to my little fashion rant 
-McCauley

 — with McCauley Wanner, Nadine Richards and Alison Andersen.