Smile Sermon - 2014 Sign off!

So I haven't done a post in a few weeks, I've been very up and down with various things going on. The inflation of my pouches always leaves me feeling a bit loamy for a couple of days. It bloody hurts man! 

It's not a walk in the park at all. It's not like I expected it to be, but I guess I just didn't expect it to be so irritating and painful! It's a bloody annoying pain though. It's not like an 'ouch'  pain it's a continuous dull ache. That just annoys me so much!

I wish I could just hibernate while this stuff went on with me just floating around in my dreams and then waking up a few months later with all the surgery done and sorted! It will be amazing when it's all finished with! I'm sure it will all be well worth the dull ache in a couple of months. I just feel so impatient with it all going on. 

I've been through a lot of crap in my life, more so in the last year and a half following my car accident. But this patch, this situation with the tissue expanders and the ongoing inflations and surgeries. This patch is by far the worst part!!!

At least while I was in the QE I was dosed up and forgetful! I had friends and family around me all the time and lots of relaxation. THIS, this is just horrible!  I'm seriously going through the hardest few months of my life! I know this is a blog of smiles, a place where I come on each week or whatsoever and share with you readers the things that have made me smile each week. This week, I'm seeking lots of comfort and sympathy! haha 

No, seriously. I've had an amazing Christmas. With SO many amazing presents! Lovely cards and lots of lovely food and drinks. I am very lucky! I do feel very lucky, very lucky to have everything I need and want at the minute in my life. There isn't much more I do want right now other than to fast forward this sore patch. This uncomfortable and sore patch of my life! I would love to just hibernate for the next couple of months!!! 
 
2015 will be a great year for me though! I will be feeling much more back to normal once the surgery is finished with. I'll be looking better, walking better, feeling better and driving better!  It will definitely be a good year for me. Things can only get better really, so when you hit that point, you can only be filled with hope, excitement, impatience and frustration! A mix of emotions! This is definitely the toughest part of things I've dealt with, but I'm a tough little solider and can get through anything. 
I've proven that to myself already! I can and I will get through this and be so happy and relieved once it's finally complete!
 It can't be rushed though. Slow and steady wins the race, as always!  You all know the tortoise and the hare story, I've always, ALWAYS been the hare! I liked being the hare, it was way more fun! But look what happened! The hare lost a bloody leg! haha 


Well, you've all probably seen the various posts on Facebook, the flip of events, statuses etc. I've got a really cool present from my Dad and Anna. I recieved a gorgeous Alleles cover from Canada! A company in Canada that produce beautiful covers to clip onto a prosthetic. Here are a few pics of the cool cover that is now attached to me!  They even sent me a cool pair of earrings to accompany this cool prosthetic cover! Unfortunatley I can only wear one of the earing at the moment, but I will soon have a reconstructed ear lope and I'll be wearing them both proudly! :) Very kind and sweet of them.

So, I've attached the cover to my leg, after ripping off the previous yellow foam that covered it! The foam was good for mimicking the shape of my leg, it made it look like a normal leg when I wore leggings or tights. Now I've got the cover on, you can really see that I'm wearing a prosthetic. Which is fine, I'm not shamed of it at all, it's a survival mark! I'm proud of my leg. But I do want my leggings to look neat and tidy!

I've currently got one normal knee and one spiky metal one, which is very apparent when wearing leggings. I think once I get my new suction socket leg, I'll keep one with foam on and one with this cool cover on. Then I can have it looking smooth in the winter with tights on and then looking cool in the summer when I've got a skirt on and showing off my cool prosthetic cover! Best of both worlds!



I think the boring white socket could do with a bit of art work! I might as well get it painted or something! If I'm going to be wearing this out on show in a mini skirt in the summer, I might as well go all the way! 

I think my next leg will have to be a amazing spike leg like Viktoria Modesta's one here. Now this is a very cool leg!!! It obviously would be a bloody nightmare to walk in, especially with a couple of vodkas down you, but my God it looks cool! Imagine wearing this on a night out! 

I'm actually excited about all the various leg out there now! There are so many cool ones! I will have a wardrobe full of legs in no time! Some of them are very expensive though! Like a running blade, that can be very pricey! But I want one of them too! I have spoken to the lovely Helen, a friend I made from the LimbPower event last year, you can get sponsorships and things. So I think next year I will definitely get myself a running blade and then pay everyone back with sponsors from my runs! :)  

That's my plan! 

Right, I wont be posting now until 2015! :) 

So I want to say big HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!!! 

Thank you to all my readers for your support and friendship throughout my first year as a blogger. 2014 started off good, it's ending off great, and 2015 will start AMAZING!! 

 

Sunday Smile Sermon #SSS

It's Christmas time in the Durkin's household! My aunty Tee, little cousins Urban and Xavier are over from Gibraltar. Unfortunately Uncle David couldn't make it over! The Quach's are heading to Australia for Christmas this year, to spend it with Uncle David's mom and dad and to see the rest of the Quach family over there. It will be lovely for them all to meet up and see the new little Quach boy Xavier! I'm sure Urban will love catching up with all of her cousins over there too. They must miss each other massively! I'll be spending Christmas with my sister Alex this year! YAY :)

So, I'm all over the place at the minute, emotionally. It's mental. I think I'm just so happy to have my aunty Tee over and that's stirred up a few feelings. I'm a little tender anyway with my shoulder pouches in! I had the two of them injected with 60ml of water this week. She did 40ml the first time, this time I was like, go for it, put some more in, it's fine and it doesn't hurt. So they did. Stupid me! It isn't really painful at all, it's just a very irritating dull ache. It's hard to keep your eyes on the prize when you are all tender and sensitive.

2015 is going to be amazing for me though! I will be having the final surgery to sort my burn scars out, I will have a new leg. A good one with a cool Alleles cover. I will be driving again! Which I really can not wait for!!! Things will be almost back to normal. I am very much looking forward to all of this, I just feel rather impatient from time to time. It's normally around the same time each month, so I'm probably just hormonal and emotional. I got all teary yesterday! Tee was getting dolled up for a night out with her mates, which was lovely for her to catch up with everyone while she was here. I just really wanted to go out with her, I wouldn't/couldn't with my pouches in, I'm very nervous about hurting them. I know I'll be back to the stage where I can whip a bit of lippy on and go out for a dance. I just can't at the minute and I was overwhelmed by the disappointment. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE BETTER!!!! I wish I could just fast forward this part of my life, the impatience is killing me! I've never been a patient person. I don't think I ever will be. I HATE waiting! It's amplified even more so now with everything else going on. Like waiting for Christmas, that is made more manageable with an amazing advent calendar that my darling Lauren Cullen bought for me. Ciate - Mini mni manor nail polish advent calendar.  It'a given me some lovely little pieces so far, I'm excited to see them all! Thank you so much for that Lauren, you absolute darling!

Today I went to visit baby Mikey, Mikey Joseph Hogan! He's such a handsome little man! Katie and Michael don't half make good looking children! Both Florence and Mikey are going to break some hearts when they're older. It was lovely seeing the 3 O'riordan sisters! Katie, Alice and Fiona. I love you three so much, having a little catch up with you was great. I'm hoping for them to be even more frequent once I'm driving again.

I don't have an awful lot to talk to you about really. I'm still waiting for my new leg, I'm hoping to get it before Christmas, so I can get it covered by my Alleles cover! As soon as I do I'll be whipping it out and showing it off on here and everywhere else! I think I'll be cutting all of my legging on the right side, so that they can show the cover off all the time! All year round. Oooooo I can't wait for it! As you can probably guess from my continuous enthusiasm in my blog posts!

I'm off now anyway, XFactor is on, I can't miss that!

Peace x